Bloody Hell! Whats with all the blue?

Yeah I know, went a little overboard on the blue - can't be bothered to change it though. If you don't like it, you're welcome to chug my girth.

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Cuts, Cars, and Shaves

Howdy,

Not a major update, but an update none the less. Last night (or earlier this morning, depends on your perspective) at 4am we found out we were out of milk. We all piled into Dingle's car to this massive Tesco's thats open 24 hours. After picking up the milk, Dingle and I decided that Jimmy should get his first lesson in the car park. Thing is with Dingle's car is that he's ragged it so much that the clutch has worn and so theres no "biting point" - this made starting without stalling a bit of a mission. I reckon I got whiplash Jimmy stalled it so much! But eventually he got away and did pretty well. Dingle reckons that when Jim gets his provisional that I can take him out on the roads...yeah right!

Next item of news came from Dingle yelling in the shower. We asked him what happened and apparently he managed to cut a ray mears style groove into his dick. If that wasn't bad enough, he had to drive to work with the wound still open and get some plasters from the manager! He remains optimistic about the whole thing though..

"Chicks dig scars, so a scar on my cock will drive them wild!" - Dingle
"You're a tard" - Jimmy

Only other news is I let Dingle shave my head this morning - nothing American Histroy X or anything, but just to get it short and manageable. He did an ok job and here's some pics. I think you'll find I look alright, or middle aged. Depends how you look at it ^_^



Thats about it now - should be home by june 10th.

-Later

The new look....

.....will come later when I can be bothered to fiddle with the template. Until then this will do fine.

I hear you all saying "An update Dan? Surely not! What happened? Find another woodland creature in your kitchen?" and the answer is no (although I found some BLACK pasta between the freezer and fridge)

Thats right it's an update - I've been busy with coursework and all that other uni bollocks. The project is finished and the web site for the Wakeboard Club is live. If you're lucky, the pics of Paul and his one wheeled antics will still be up there.

Click here to fill your eyes with joy!

The presentation went fine - we were all suited and booted (to a degree) and we spoke clearly and with confidence (until Lucy Pinder in all her nudey glory came on Siva's laptop screen - then it was just a load of burbling)

Like the Fonz says..........I'd hit it! >_> (. )( .)

Other coursework has been done and dusted - if anyone told me for my uni course I would be looking up Palestinian chicken recipes at 3am, I would have probably berrated them in an amusing manor, however that was largely what I had to do for multimedia - who's idea was it to make a cookbook anyway! >_<

I'm being very studenty and haven't attended one lecture since getting back from Easter. Fuck em, if they wanted me to come in they wouldn't have given me such a retarded timetable so it's not worth my while showing up - besides why go in for a lecture you can get off the network? to listen to Paul G rambling on in his slow hypnotic way? I get the work done and handed in on time, end of.

After this course I am going to do a top up degree in Digital Forensics - hacking and cyberterrorism (how to fight it, not how to perform it) so who knows - next year I may be able to steal your megahurtz!!! First things first, I gotta get the application in - for some reason I need to write another personal statement and also get Arthur to say I'm a good worker. Can't they just look at the marks and tutor comments from the last 2 years? Ah well, jumping through hoops is the name of the game.

Aside from work, things have been reasonable. I've noticed that I've been cooking and cleaning alot - I know I'm worried too. Becky and Dingle are slowly getting better, at least now they know that leaving the front door WIDE OPEN and on the latch in Somers Town is probably a bad idea. Thats right folks - they needed to be told to close doors. I'm also still annoyed at having to pull knotted hair out of the plug holes of the sink and shower. Also a facinating new trend of putting supermarket receipts in the kitchen sink has occured. Ah well, not long now.

Jimmy's been pissing about with this MixMeister program - he's no Hixxy or Dougal, but he made an amusing Mr Scruff mix and he's making progress. Unfortunately thats at the cost of his progress in his UNIX coursework but hey, it's only UNIX.

Last sunday I witnessed the full horror of Becky's fella off his face. End result was a 25 year old lad wrapped in a purple bed sheet trying to ass rape people with a toy dagger and yelling Muthafucka in a really shitty Aussie accent. Becky was quite shocked and I had to carry him home in the end. Other than that, not much has been happening with me - my printer imploded a while ago (Not the printer Dan! Fraid so) and thats it. Oh yes people, my uni life is NOTHING like I expected it to be.

I will TRY to update more often, but for now I will retire and listen to Jimmy crank out some banging tunes.

Cya!

hey

Hey all,

Another sporadic update today. I probably should update more but to be honest there isn’t much going on in my life at the moment. I’ve got 2 weeks left in Pompey and then I go back home for the Easter hols. It seems like it won’t be the most relaxing due to the amount of work I’ve got.

I need to sort a portfolio out by May on Professional Development, I’ve got to write up this project work and prepare for a presentation, and I need to get this Mult work sorted.

Lectures have been sparse this past couple of weeks and to be honest it’s no great loss. The only one I was interested in was cancelled as the tutor was ill. Computer Networking is boring as hell, Paul G (that’s right Heavy P) could send insomniacs to sleep. That’s how boring his voice is. And what makes it worse is that now as well as the 9am lecture on Tuesday, thanks to Marnie complaining for now reason we now have another lecture on Thursday morning. Marnie needs to stop sticking her nose in. She complains that she’s not being taught enough, without mentioning the fact that she hasn’t turned up to hardly any CONET lectures this semester. The Uni really need to check the facts with other students before making timetable changes.

The house is bootleg as usual. This infernal washing machine has backed up again and the landlady’s answer to everything is some old guy who pokes it and swears. The thing is, no matter who Jane sends round, its still going to be fucked because it’s the plumbing of the house as a whole that’s at fault. The washing machine is in the kitchen, and for those of you that haven’t visited me, our kitchen is in the basement. This means that any water needs to be pumped up to ground level. The thing is the washing machine takes in a lot of water and then ejects it all at once, the pipes and the pump cannot cope with that amount of water at once and as a result it starts to back up. When it does back up, the pipe at the back of the cupboards leaks and we get a nice water feature that soaks all our pots and pans and drowns Jims cereals. OPM have a choice really. They can either get a bigger pump in and bigger pipes to cope with the load, or move the washing machine into the spare room, however OPM won’t do the latter as they want as many bedrooms in this hole as possible so they can make the most money.

Moving on from the house to the housemates. The bathroom is appauling, nobody cleans anything so our sink is encrusted with peoples facial hair. The bath itself is worse as the plug hole has been blocked by long hair, grime is all over it, and there’s the result of Becky shaving her legs thrown in as well. People don’t clean up after they use it which pisses me off because it means I have to pull out a shit load of Beckys, Stephs, and Dingles hair out of the plug and scoop up all this general filth before I get to have a shower. It seems that Becky and Dingles mum is a bit of a clean freak. I reckon that they are messy and lazy because the mum is always cleaning up after them. They just leave things where they drop and it’s disgusting. I just can’t be bothered with this place anymore (although I’ve just signed up for another year so more fool me)

One piece of amusement came when Luke came round. We were up in Jims room when Luke looked out the window. There was a massive rumble across the road between various tribes of Chavs. It was funniest when some fat heffer fell over. Everyone went from yelling out obscenities to each other to all going “oooooooooo” in unison. This place feels more like a zoo every day.

Aside from that, it’s been boring. Hope everyone is enjoying themselves and I look forward to seeing you over Easter.

Cya!

update? surely not!

Wow an update, who would have thought it?

Anyway I'm in the second semester and so far it seems steady enough - I still hate Portsmouth with a passion and would gladly move if I wasn't too lazy to commute. Chav situation seems to be getting worse. In fact watch any zombie film and replace the zombies with chavs - thats how many chavs are in portsmouth. It seems that half the population of this city are complete tards in baseball caps walking like they got piles, slinging insults at anyone who passes by. The other half of the population is comprised of students, foreign people, and tourists who have become trapped in the city and have to fend for themselves until help arrives. The chav situation has got so bad I have resorted to buying a knife for protection. I won't be starting trouble, but if it comes my way I will fucking end it.

As far as the house is concerned, the rent is going to go up over the summer. When I think about it, it's boggling the mind that I keep paying through the nose to live in this place, but I suppose it's all for my education and hopes for the future. The walls in this house are paper thin (not as bad as halls, but getting there) I hear the girl next door faking an orgasm every night, and hear this guy on the top floor play the same five songs all the fucking time. Jim ends up in a volume war with the guy half the time. In fact a couple of nights ago he turned up on our front door having the fucking audacity to complain about the noise! Doesn't he get how thin the walls are? doesn't he realise that he starts it all the time?

Also we caught a mouse in the spare room a while ago. We called it Vin Diesel and put it in a box with some chocolate to eat - i don't know whether it was Jim shaking the box or Becky breathing weed down it's lungs but it didn't go well. Dingle "released him to the wild" which meant tipping the box up outside our front door at 3am. For the next couple of days we had a dead mouse on our doorstep.

Coursemates are alright. Femi is such a lost cause though. He leaves for mult tutorial when it finishes - thats how late Femi gets to class. Even if he shows up, he eats whatever picnic he brings then cracks some jokes and then knocks out for the rest of the lecture. I swear he's been here since the uni was first built. Apparently the tutors know he's hopeless so they leave him to it, instead using "working with Femi" as a threat to other students.

It's kind of a sorry state really when the uni holds on to the waste of spaces as long as they get the money from them.

Well thats it for a while - hope to see everyone over Easter hols! (unless Femi does some work, in which case I invite you all to a snowball fight in hell)

-Later!

1 week to go!

hey all,

Like the title says I got one more week in this hole, then I go back to celebrate Xmas with the family!

ADCAR result came in: 57% (not what I was hoping for but I passed so I'm happy)

But guess who got the highest mark in the exam? Weighing in with over 80% is.........Tiargo! Tiargo? Fucker can't even speak English and he did the best?!

Luke managed to pass despite being hungover, stoned, and jet lagged. IT was kinda funny looking over at him staring wide eyed at the screen saying "What am I doing?" to himself ^_^

Got alot of work to do. I want to try and get as much out the way now so I don't have as much to do over Xmas. We are having another group meeting with Arthur on wednesday, however Jim, being the Gung Ho project lead he is, declared to Arthur that we would have the next revision of our report (complete with design) in his inbox by monday morning! FUCK!

You see, while Damo and Luke have to get some DFDs sorted, I have to design the database(s), state the primary keys, foriegn keys, linked lists, etc. At first I thought "Thats ok, I just need to do the member database and the account database. WRONG! As the whole web system is a large database, I have to design databases for the pages of the web site and also the forum! Jims pretty much dumped me in it, especially considering I ain't the hottest with SQL stuff.

SEPR is going well, we blitzed a draft RSD that Shelly seemed impressed with. I've just finished some DFDs and sent them to the others. Hopefully they will get back to me soon with feedback.

Aside from work things are ok. I'm doing alright on the cash front and will have enough to get drunk over the hols :P

Luke's arranged another New Years Party (fancy dress) the theme is Superheros, made up or existing. Well I'm going as Albert Wesker; not really a hero (more of a villan, but what the hell) so that should be cool.

Our house stinks of mould! Its Ian and Becky's damn damp wetsuits and wakeboarding gear just hanging up (or in most cases scattered around the hall). It's annoying as hell and they don't seem to care. Becky and her fella left a plate of chips rotting on the kitchen table a while ago, so we got that smell to deal with as well! It's not very pleasant right now.

Ah well, thats it for me - Cya around!

Oh balls!..........

......was pretty much the reaction I had when I looked at some of the questions in todays ADCAR exam. I mean I reckon I did alright, but all the questions were trick questions trying to catch people out. Kind of harsh, especially since every answer we get wrong, we have marks deducted!

Luke came back from Amersterdam late Sunday night, spent 3 hours sleeping on his mates floor in Winchester, then travelled down to Pompey and went straight to the exam! Fuck knows how he got on!

Bumped into Dan T on the way back (oh hooray ¬_¬) He's still a complete tool, still got his stupid piercing, and shock fucking horror STILL has the same stories! It's like he spent the summer in a cave or something! Anyway, we had a brief chat. Apparently Rachael has broken up with her "new" fella, and went home for the weekend to straighten things out (either that or it was Dan's company).

So I'm back home. Jim is waiting for this new Erricson mobile phone to come flying through the letterbox, meaning that he's skipping his programming lecture. Later on Damo, Shiva, and Femi came round. Damo, Femi and myself made our way to the lecture (more on that later) while Jim and Shiva stayed home to work on data structures.

One thing I have to remember next time I walk to a lecture with Femi is to leave like 45 minutes in advance. He dragged me and Damo all over the place first to get some cash, then to get a veritable picnic from Greggs! We get to the lecture about half way through. Fortunately it's just Robert Topp droning on in his spaced out way. I left my headphones in and just read from the notes. Femi spent 10 minutes eating his stockpile of food, and promptly fell asleep. He woke up at the end of the lecture and actually put his hand up and said "I don't get it!"

Don't get me wrong, Femi is a top bloke - he's hilarious. However he doesn't have any motivation to do work. Apparently his attitude is starting to piss Jim and Shiva off as I think they're all working together for a subject. Ah well, just one of those things.

We hit tescos (thanks to Shiva for the lift, red neons all the way ^_^) to pick up some essentials, namely chicken, bread, and various sauces. Since then I've just been relaxing. Jims got The Excorsism of Emily Rose on the comp so we'll probably watch that later. Jenny is meant to be coming round to make us pancakes, but we'll have to wait and see.

As far as Becky (our fourth housemate) goes, I haven't seen her for like 2 weeks. She just stays in her room with her fella Steph smoking stupid amounts of weed. If someone wants to fuck themselves up, fair enough. The problem is that the whole house stinks of weed; it lingers in your clothes, in your room, everything. Those two have turned into full blown potheads, and I fucking hate potheads.

I don't know what it is about Uni, but everyone seems to have the attitude of "We can smoke weed, coz Daddy's not here" and so just about everyone I meet is a damn pothead. Its their smugness that grinds my gears; like they are somehow better than normal people because they do it. All it does is make you slow and retarded, and you aren't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer if you feel you can talk down to people because you do drugs.

Ah well thats it for me. Lay in tomorrow ^_^

-Cya!